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What does Irreconcilable Differences Mean in a Divorce?

Dina Haddad

Founder & Attorney Mediator

I’m Dina Haddad, a family law attorney-mediator in California. I’m so tired of couples not having a process that’s easy to complete their divorce. They are getting lost, wasting time and money, and beyond frustrated with their results.That’s why I created The Complete Divorce. I took my successful mediation practice and condensed it into an affordable and winning program.

California courts use “irreconcilable differences” as the standard reason for ending a marriage. Although there are no states that require fault to get a divorce, there are some states that allow the spouse to file for divorce and claim a reason for that divorce. 

This might be for infidelity or abuse. However, in California, no fault is required or accepted. The only two options for filing will be: Irreconcilable differences; or Permanent legal incapacity to make a decision.

This means you don’t have to disclose your personal reasons for divorcing. In fact, the court will not accept a reason or give it any weight. You can also avoid litigation altogether with an Uncontested Divorce, which is where both parties agree on all important aspects of the divorce.

Check out The Complete Divorce to understand what type of divorce is best for your unique situation. At our program, we offer affordable divorce DIY/divorce without a lawyer services for just $49.99. We guide our clients through library resources, divorce forms and webinars. Start your divorce today.

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What Does Irreconcilable Differences Mean in California?

Irreconcilable Differences” is a legal term used by courts in California that refers to a situation where both parties have determined their marriage is beyond repair, regardless of whether one party may wish to continue working on it. 

Once either person decides they are at an impasse and there is no realistic potential for reconciliation, either party may file for divorce without having to produce any supporting evidence of how or why things broke down.

A person filing for divorce in California does not have to be separated from his/her spouse prior to filing. A person can file the paperwork and initiate the divorce process while residing in the same house as his/her spouse. Learn more how to file for divorce by yourself

When filing, the only requirement is to check the box stating that the marriage is no longer viable (the box is located on form FL-100, which is known as the petition). This entire system makes the divorce process move quickly with no conflict regarding personal matters.

Common Examples vs. Legal Grounds

Common Examples vs Legal Grounds for Irreconcilable Differences in Divorce Cases

Generally, when people ask what qualifies as “irreconcilable differences,” they are referring to the underlying reasons for the end of their marriage. Irreconcilable differences are the reasons why a couple cannot stay together; they are not technical requirements for an annulment.

In California, courts don’t require specific details regarding the grounds for divorce. You simply need to state that the marriage has broken down irrevocably.

Some general examples of personal irreconcilable differences include:

  • Financial disagreement – i.e., how much money should be spent and/or saved vs. how much money should be used to pay off debts.

 

  • Parental disagreements – i.e., parenting styles/parental responsibility (i.e., which parent will make decisions and take care of certain parental responsibilities).

 

  • Poor communication – i.e., a lack of communication, frequent arguments and/or disputes over minor issues.

 

  • Differences in values/beliefs – e.g., changes in life goals or long-term goals may have changed since you got married (and therefore, you and your spouse now disagree).

NOTE

You do not need to provide this information to the court. Your reasons remain confidential.

How Long Does Irreconcilable Differences Divorce Take?

You can complete your divorce as quickly as you are able to complete all steps of the divorce. 

However, the couple’s marital status will not dissolve until at least six-months have elapsed from when the Respondent was served the divorce paperwork, Joint Petition was filed, or the Response was filed (the first of these dates will start the clock). 

An “Irreconcilable Differences Divorce” is really the majority of all California divorces, and when it will be finished depends on the parties ability to finish the divorce process and how busy their family court is in their county. 

The length of time that it takes to complete a divorce has nothing to do with whether or not you have grounds to file for divorce; instead, what determines the length of time is how well and quickly you follow each procedural step of completing your divorce.

Typically, delays occur due to problems associated with filing (i.e., incorrect filing), failure to meet a deadline, or financial disclosure issue(s), including but not limited to FL-140. These types of issues delay the courts’ review and approval of your documents and paperwork.

Although you may qualify for a Summary Dissolution if your case is simple and meets other requirements, this type of dissolution still requires at least a six-month waiting period.

Strategic Steps When Irreconcilable Differences Stop Progress

When conflicts in your case slow it down, transition away from emotional decision-making and focus on what you can do to make progress.

1. File for divorce without a lawyer

If possible for your situation, consider filing for divorce without a lawyer. Using a structured, step-by-step process to move through each part of your divorce case will help you minimize time lost to delays and allow the case to progress.

2. Consider the legal status

Next, select the most appropriate legal avenue to pursue. Determine if a divorce or legal separation is best for your current circumstances. Legal separation may be the most suitable option when you’re unsure about finalizing your divorce but still need the legal framework governing financial responsibilities, custodial arrangements, etc.

3. Create an MSA

Finally, create documentation. Complete all required disclosure forms and have all of your terms regarding spousal support, child custody/visitation, and division of assets organized. The process of creating a marital settlement agreement (MSA), which outlines all of the agreed-upon terms, will move your case forward. 

Using an online divorce platform will ensure accurate completion of documents, reduce the risk of mistakes, and maintain the overall organization of your case.

Take Control of Your Divorce

Irreconcilable differences allow you to end your marriage without being required to show any fault in the case. 

The outcome of your matter and how long it takes you will depend on how you move through the divorce process. An uncontested divorce is the most efficient way for both parties when they agree to this ground.  Start your process with a structured California online divorce process and move forward using The Complete Divorce.

FAQ — Irreconcilable Differences

Q. What does irreconcilable differences mean?

Irreconcilable differences refers to a situation where there is no longer a possibility for the two spouses to live together in harmony and work through their problems. With California Court Rules, you simply have to state this. You will not be required to show fault, nor explain in detail how things went wrong.

Yes, there are many examples that could be used. If you and your spouse are unable to resolve the issues on your own, you would consider them irreconcilably different. Examples of this could include ongoing disagreements, loss of trust, different long-term life plans for yourself and/or children, etc.

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