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5 Most Common Causes of Divorce (Backed by Research)
Dina Haddad
Founder & Attorney Mediator
I’m Dina Haddad, a family law attorney-mediator in California. I’m so tired of couples not having a process that’s easy to complete their divorce. They are getting lost, wasting time and money, and beyond frustrated with their results.That’s why I created The Complete Divorce. I took my successful mediation practice and condensed it into an affordable and winning program.
Studies show the number one factor for divorcing couples is a lack of commitment. The other big reasons people get divorced are money issues, poor communication skills, and cheating. In some states adultery is a crime and while in others it’s not.
Regardless of what caused you to want to end your marriage, under California court rules, you don’t have to provide proof of what happened. California is a “no-fault” state, which means all you need to say when filing for divorce is that there were irreconcilable differences.
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The Concept of Causes and Grounds in California Divorce
There is an overlap in the concepts of “causes,” “reasons,” and “grounds” for divorce. While they all relate to why someone gets divorced, they each serve a unique role in both the legal process and everyday life. Knowing what the difference is will help you understand what you need to provide as evidence if you are divorcing in California.
| Term | Context | Definition |
|---|---|---|
| Grounds | Legal (court) | The official reason you file, such as irreconcilable differences. |
| Causes / Reasons | Personal (couple) | The real-life issues like money, infidelity, or growing apart. |
When you file for divorce in California, you don’t have to list the specific reason (or cause) for your divorce. Under California Court Rules, citing “irreconcilable differences” is sufficient. In fact, since California has no-fault divorce laws, proving that either spouse was at fault is unnecessary.
Causes of Divorce Explained
Research from the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI) and the Institute for Family Studies (IFS) examines the primary reasons for divorce. Most separations, while unique to each couple, are similar. Here are the five most common causes for divorce:
1. Lack of commitment and growing apart
Studies find that most people have identified a “lack of commitment” (or a growing disconnection) as their #1 reason for divorce. Most divorces happen after a long time of slowly losing effort, shared goals, and closeness in the relationship.
Once both parties agree that the marriage is ending, couples who will settle their differences can pursue an Uncontested Divorce or Legal Separation, which will allow them to end the marriage amicably without increasing the stress of the separation.Learn more divorce vs legal separation.
2. Financial stress and asset friction
Financial issues can be very stressful on relationships. Differences about money, spending, debt, etc., can develop and continue over time. Money problems are compounded by California’s high cost of living.
If you have relatively few financial issues, you may not need to hire expensive lawyers. A simple online program like The Complete Divorce will walk you through the required divorce or legal separation steps at a very low cost.
3. Communication breakdown
When communication deteriorates into constant criticism or conflict, it is hard for couples to find a solution. The lack of communication and constant arguments creates resentment.
The couple is unsatisfied in the relationship, each party has unmet needs, and they are unable to rebuild healthy communication to restore their relationship.
Although this animosity can fuel a litigation battle, parties who can set aside their differences and focus on the requirements for a divorce or legal separation will do better.
Using a structured, conflict-free process, like an online divorce or mediation, can help the couple move on with their lives while avoiding ongoing confrontation. Learn more about pros and cons of legal separation.
4. Infidelity and breach of trust
Infidelity is also a cause of divorce that research has shown is responsible for many divorces, although estimates range.
Even if one spouse resides in a “no-fault” state such as California, once trust is broken (regardless of whether either spouse admits it), the likelihood of reconciliation may be severely diminished.
A formal process, like The Complete Divorce, will help you file the necessary paperwork and reach a point of finality with regard to your divorce without causing additional conflict.
5. Incompatibility and changing values
People change over time. As individuals grow older, they may develop different values, have different long-term goals, or choose to lead different lifestyles. This also counts as irreconcilable differences when choosing a divorce or legal separation.
If both parties agree that their marriage is incompatible due to changing values or other factors, an uncontested divorce allows each party to move on quickly and efficiently.
How the Cause of Your Split Dictates Your Legal Path
When tensions are high, it is harder for divorcing parties to choose cooperative divorce processes like an online divorce, mediation or negotiation. The animosity can fuel expenses and prolonged divorce battles.
For those that are able to set aside their differences, they will do much better. Such resolve will put this couple ahead of their counterpart. Those who are able to work together do significantly better than those that do not.
Even if there are financial issues or poor communication, parties really need to find a way to cooperate with one another. Otherwise, the divorce process will take advantage of the parties. There are many rules and procedures when handled improperly can easily fuel more anger and animosity to a couple that is already fighting.,
Even if you have common problems in marriage, such as financial stress and a lack of commitment to the relationship, you still have successfully divorce without court hearings and trials. The best method is to work with your spouse, either directly and through an online divorce platform like The Complete Divorce, or by retaining a mediator, such as at Families First Mediation.
Using a structured CA online divorce program allows you to resolve all aspects of your divorce privately. A private divorce provides an easy, cost-effective resolution to your marital issues.
Simplify Your Divorce and Take Control of it.
Every divorcing couple has a reason they are getting a divorce. Whether they are divorcing because of common reasons, or a reason that is unique to them, the most important action is that they work together to keep their divorce simple.
Working together towards an uncontested divorce helps minimize tensions and keep the parties out of court. The parties can work together to create a high-quality and creative marital settlement agreement that addresses their individual and collective needs rather than giving that power to a judge.
When pursuing a divorce, consider a service like The Complete Divorce, which provides all required court-forms and the marital settlement agreement, with detailed instructions for filing. The program provides high-quality video tutorials and access to divorce experts in their regular webinars.
FAQ — Causes of Divorce
Q. What is the easiest way to file an uncontested divorce in CA?
The easiest way to get divorced is by filing an uncontested divorce without an attorney if you have agreed on every term of the divorce. A guided divorce service will help you complete the correct legal forms, avoid costly mistakes, and assist you in processing your divorce quickly and efficiently.
Q. How does The Complete Divorce help if we agree on everything?
In cases where there are no disputes regarding the divorce, The Complete Divorce will be used as your primer. It offers step-by-step instructional videos and county-specific forms to ensure your documents are completed accurately and approved in accordance with California Court regulations.
Q. Can one spouse use The Complete Divorce for both of us?
Yes. One advantage of The Complete Divorce is that it allows each party to review and complete documentation simultaneously in a collaborative environment. Therefore, it is perfect for couples who work well together when completing their uncontested divorce.
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